I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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