1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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