she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
