she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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