So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I have post one night stand depression
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