That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.