He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.