Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

and?

(609): View more from New Jersey

RIP clitoris

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(609): I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there... (1-609): and? (609): RIP clitoris http://tfl.nu/1ub6

Replies (597) Good night (5406) Bad night (102421)
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(205): View more from Alabama

I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over

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(205): I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over http://tfl.nu/18ji

Replies (22) Good night (1184) Bad night (4448)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.

(518): View more from New York

I am in love with you.

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(203): Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think. (518): I am in love with you. http://tfl.nu/yy5e

Replies (5) Good night (5257) Bad night (1000)
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(214): View more from Texas

I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."

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(214): I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused." http://tfl.nu/qcvq

Replies (12) Good night (11678) Bad night (1166)
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(703): View more from Virginia

had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level

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(703): had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level http://tfl.nu/3h42

Replies (3) Good night (1570) Bad night (3937)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god

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(814): When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god http://tfl.nu/yzjp

Replies (3) Good night (1818) Bad night (717)
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(949): View more from California

Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.

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(949): Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless. http://tfl.nu/j4zx

Replies (4) Good night (2243) Bad night (591)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night

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(614): Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night http://tfl.nu/qw5j

Replies (3) Good night (751) Bad night (767)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan

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(504): why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan http://tfl.nu/6v6o

Replies (9) Good night (1439) Bad night (837)
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(410): View more from Maryland

IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS

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(410): IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS http://tfl.nu/c2np

Replies (10) Good night (1049) Bad night (539)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses

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(802): I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses http://tfl.nu/9pm9

Replies (4) Good night (796) Bad night (887)
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(585): View more from New York

The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club

(716): View more from New York

You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall

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(585): The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club (716): You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall http://tfl.nu/3muu

Replies (0) Good night (878) Bad night (306)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue

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(720): I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue http://tfl.nu/01f7

Replies (3) Good night (424) Bad night (338)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.

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(781): oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games. http://tfl.nu/o181

Replies (0) Good night (524) Bad night (425)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?

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(313): Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs? http://tfl.nu/w5xb

Replies (0) Good night (576) Bad night (240)

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