Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(225): View more from Louisiana

He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.

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(312): View more from Illinois

I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.

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(310): View more from California

She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.

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23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
Read it at the TFLN blog
(651): View more from Minnesota

I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.

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