I must be too annoying 4 u.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.