Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.

Fav 9 3569 1035
share tweet
(217): View more from Illinois

he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.

Fav 47 9193 1281
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(617): View more from Massachusetts

I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker

(914): View more from New York

Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.

Fav 7 4154 1328
share tweet
(858): View more from California

It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.

Fav 16 7343 1359
share tweet
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(919): View more from North Carolina

At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?

Fav 27 1275 5073
share tweet
(612): View more from Minnesota

Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...

Fav 14 1431 3472
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(802): View more from Vermont

Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?

Fav 19 4769 1200
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(818): View more from California

I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.

Fav 1 555 839
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(812): View more from Indiana

I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.

Fav 2 95 25
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT