My first STD was from a foam party
so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
