theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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