Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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