i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
she peed on how many people?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS