I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.