he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.