she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
