we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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