Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.