Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
