Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
My pussy is not your playground.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize