I wanna passion pit in your ass
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
