rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
