no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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