hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
