This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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