You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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