Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Holy sore nipples Batman
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
