i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
