The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
