He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.