we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell