Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend