Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
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He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
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I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him