so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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