He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
