apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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