Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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