If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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