It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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