'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
