who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
even my farts smell like vagina
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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