im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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