Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
