What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
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Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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