Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Don't tell me you're on acid again
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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