i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
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By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
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You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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