3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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