I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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