i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
this is an emotional support booty call
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
