Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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