You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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