u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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