I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
