Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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