The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
