Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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