But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
