the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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