Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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