Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
