You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
