What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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