i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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