dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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