I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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